


Wake Me Up Inside

by AgentCatt



Series: Locington One Shot Stuff [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Season 13 wouldn't have happened if this happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 16:40:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10495137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCatt/pseuds/AgentCatt
Summary: Wash is pretty convincing that Locus is nothing but a monster. Wash is also pretty good at making Locus believe he's a monster and helping him become human. But when he goes to see Felix, it's always reversed. So Wash has to constantly keep trying to bring him back.





	

Locus has been more tired than usual. He’s done nothing different lately. Just… Well. There was the whole ordeal with the Reds and Blues; separating them from each other, but how can that have made him more tired? Whatever. 

Locus walks the halls in full armor. Pretty much everyone is asleep, except those on watch duty. He walks to the training room. It’s much better than the Rebels’ training room according to Felix. 

Felix. Why is he thinking of him? Why did he come to mind? 

When Locus gets to the training room, he slowly starts to take off all his armor. Mostly because he’s fairly certain no one will go in there. They usually don’t, so he’s risking it. 

He takes his time taping up his hands, stuck on the question why he thought of Felix. 

He walks over to the punching bag with a sigh. Just let it go. Let out all the anger and frustration he has. He’s earned it.   
  
Wash can’t sleep. He’s been laying there, listening to Sarge snore and Donut’s heavy breathing. He just gets up and leaves the room.

Wash feels naked without his armor. They won’t let him have it just yet. He holds his arms close to his chest to simulate a chest piece a little. It helps just the slightest, but Wash would much rather have his full set of armor.

If he remembers correctly, ha, they passed the training room when some other soldiers showed them to their room. He just has to retrace his steps. Easy enough.

Wash only took a wrong turn once. Not terribly lost, but finds his way nonetheless. He opens the door quietly when he hears someone else in there.   
Like the cat Wash has always been, he slips into the room unnoticed, fixated by the man already in there. It wasn’t until he sees the discarded armor that Wash realized who he was watching.  
  
Locus just lets everything out. He hadn’t realized he had so much pent up anger and frustration in him. From the years on Chorus. From just being partners with Felix. From having to put on this stupid charade. 

He didn’t notice the door open. He didn’t see Wash enter the room. Focused on his punches. Focused on the outcome. What has to happen. Hitting harder and harder with each punch, until the last one makes the punching bag fall onto the floor. He just looks at it with a sigh. Not even going to pick it up.

Locus turns to head for a drink when he notices Agent Washington staring at him.  
  
Wash is fascinated with Locus’ body. He would never have guessed that body goes with the deep, scary, voice. He can’t stop watching the way every muscle moves with every punch. It’s mesmerizing. He could watch for hours on end. 

When the punching bag falls, Wash jumps slightly. He wasn’t paying attention and didn’t really expect that to happen. He slightly smiles to himself, that is until Locus turns and sees him standing there, staring. Whoops. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Wash is the first to speak. He didn’t want the silence to go on for too long.

Locus doesn’t say anything. He just stands there, wondering why Agent Washington was just watching silently. Then it comes to him.

“I should go,” Wash is blushing. It’s cute. He begins to head for the door.

“You can stay.” Locus tells him. He walks over to the water fountain that is next to his armor. Wash had stopped moving when Locus told him he could stay.

It's fascinating, watching Locus. He has this scar. Like an 'X' on his face. Wash just can't stop looking.

"What are you looking at?" Locus asks, curious. He caught Wash staring.

"Oh, sorry, uh, your um," Wash mimics the Locus' scar on his face. "I'm interested in knowing how."

"Tell me how you got yours and I'll tell you mine."

Locus sounds different out of armor, to Wash anyways. Sounds not nearly as scary, but is still a bit scary. He's been staring for a while that Locus starts to walk away.

"Oh um," Locus stops. "I think before the incident. I'm not sure anymore."

Locus nods. "Great war for mine. I think."

“Cool, probably hurt more than mine,” Wash is so awkward. He wants to just bail, but something is keeping him there.

“Probably.” Locus feels awkward as well. He’d love to bail, but he also wants to stay there and work out more, but...

“You know, I'm just gonna head out,” Wash takes a step back. Before he can turn, Locus pins Wash against the wall with a kiss. Wash does not hesitate to kiss back.

 

They both made it back to Locus’ room before stripping down to nothing. Locus is the one taking control, pinning Wash against the wall, the bed. It’s been a while for both of them, but they make the most out of it.

For a monster, no sorry, soldier, it felt pretty intimate. Is that the right word? Passionate almost. Locus can’t seem to figure out why. He lays there with Wash’s head resting on his chest, wide awake still. Wash fell asleep and Locus is just laying there with an arm around Wash, thinking about so many things.

Locus hates that his armor is in the training room. He's going to have to figure out how to get it back without letting anyone see his face. Or without letting himself see his face. He hasn't been able to look at it for over a year now. It's not him anymore. It can't be. There's no way.

Locus had been lying there for an hour when Wash starts to stir. He watches the outline of Wash tense up, even feel it. Locus goes to help coax Wash out of the dream, but Wash helps himself. It's interesting to see. He's clearly done this very often.

“Why are you awake?” Wash so wishes he could just melt into Locus’ skin. So warm and soft for battered up skin. 

Locus hesitates to answer.

“I know you're awake. Why?”

“Can't sleep.”

Locus closes his eyes when Wash kisses his chest multiple times, opening his eyes when Wash stops.

“You need to sleep.” Wash lays his head back down.

“Yes, but I can't.”

“Lay your head back completely.” Wash can feel when Locus does so. “Just close your eyes and listen to me.” Locus follows what he’s been told as Wash begins to hum. Surprisingly enough, Locus ends up falling asleep. 

 

Locus wakes up abruptly. Something’s off. That’s when he feels Wash move. Oh, that’s what’s off. And the fact he doesn’t have his armor and no one can see him. How is he going to get his armor back? Is he going to have to just sacrifice the fact people can see what he looks like? Or can he get Wash to go get it for him?

Wash rolls over onto his back, covering his face with his hands. Locus turns on his side to look at him. 

“I have a question,” Locus asks.

Wash takes a visible deep breath and removes his hands. “I may have an answer.”

“Can you… go get my armor…?” This is the first time Locus has asked for anything in a long while because Felix would never allow him to even ask a question about anything. Wonder why that is. 

“Why?” Wash is a little confused as to why he can’t just go get it himself. 

“Never mind.” Why is a good question though. He doesn’t know how to answer that. He doesn’t even completely understand why himself. He sits himself up. “You’re the first person to see me out of armor since I’ve got here.” Locus doesn’t know why he admits this. Shut up. Just shut up.

“Oh. I can relate to that. I wouldn’t take my armor off for the longest,” Wash gets up and slowly gets dressed, keeping his eyes on Locus. The way he’s just staring down at the ground. Clearly lost in thought.

Wash walks over to Locus, making him look up at him. “I’ll be right back. Assuming I don’t get lost.” Locus nods.

Wash leaves the room and Locus gets out of the bed, putting on some sweats before pulling out his data pad. He enters his 20 character long password to find Felix had tried to get ahold of him a few minutes ago. Good thing it wasn’t longer. He doesn’t want to have Felix find out about this. That would lead to so many… bad things.

He answers Felix’s stupid messages before Wash gets back. Locus is actually surprised Wash came back. He didn’t think he would come back at all. Thought he would just leave and head back to Wash’s group. 

“Here you go,” Wash sets the armor on the bed. Locus turns and immediately starts to put it on. He can’t go any longer without it on.

“Thank you,” Locus grabs his helmet, about to put it on when Wash stops him.

“When was the last time you actually looked at yourself in the mirror?”

Such an odd question. Though he can’t remember the last time. Nor does he want to look at himself. He can’t. It’s been so long. It had to be before they came here because that’s the last time he’s seen a mirror. He can’t do this. He quickly puts his helmet on.

“Get out,” Locus makes Wash leave his room, shutting the door on him. Thankfully he has to go out scouting tonight. Aka meet with Felix to swap information they can share with the other side. 

 

Locus gets back from the scouting mission and he’s seeming to be more like himself again. Still fascinated with Wash, but not as… whatever that was those nights ago. He goes about his business, not even acknowledging Wash except to maybe observe him for a little while. Felix has told him the way he should start doing some things. It’s almost like he knows that he and Wash spent time together.

That is until Wash sneaks away from his little team and training to find Locus. He can’t run away from this situation. Wash has basically trapped him in his room. Arms crossed, leaning against the door. He could just lift Wash out of the way, but that won’t solve anything since he’ll just come back. 

“What do you want?” Locus is becoming impatient and is the first to say anything. 

“Something’s wrong isn’t it?” 

“What?” What the fuck does he mean? He hasn’t been around him enough to know when something’s off like Felix does. Felix is the only one that can tell this because he’s been around for years. Too many years, but still. 

“You’re fighting something and it isn’t this war.” Wash moves away from the door, towards Locus. Locus doesn’t move. He just stands there and lets Wash come up to him. Wash begins to take off Locus’ helmet when he’s stopped.

“Don’t.”

“Let me.” Wash waits for Locus to remove his hands. He does. Wash finishes taking off the helmet. Locus looks at the ground. Can’t even look at Wash. 

“Look at me,” Wash forces Locus to look at him. He can see in his eyes that he’s fighting himself so much. Exactly what he thought, but had to see for himself. “What do you think of yourself?”

“I…” Locus hesitates. He’s a soldier. That’s all he is. Maybe he should say that. “I’m a soldier.” He strongly believes this. He’s been told he’s a good soldier. Especially from everyone around him. Even Felix thinks so. 

“Is that truly what you think of yourself?” Wash runs his thumb over Locus’ left cheek. 

“Yes,” Locus pulls away. He just wants Wash and doesn’t know why. He just wants to leave this place and never look back. Why does he want this? What’s different? 

“Locus.”

“Get out,” Locus turns, gripping Wash’s arm tightly, making him leave his room. He shuts the door behind him, locking it. Locus grabs his helmet and puts it back on. He’s a soldier dammit.

 

Locus has calmed down a bit over the next few days. The longer he’s away from Felix, the more he calms down and begins to think for himself. That’s why he’s standing against the wall, watching Wash train some young soldiers. They’re not exactly soldiers. Wash has patience to control these stupid people. Thankfully they’ll all be dying.

Wash dismisses everyone after a little while. He starts tidying everything up instead of leaving it a mess since the soldiers will never bother to clean anything up. Even if he makes them run extra laps. They won’t do anything. It’s annoying and awful to Wash. Locus slowly walks up to him when he sees that everyone is gone.

“Hello, Agent Washington.”

“Which Locus am I talking to today?” Wash doesn’t stop what he’s doing. Locus makes Wash stop by taking his hand. “Ah, that one.” Wash can tell instantly. The one that isn’t as order ridden. 

“Which one is that?” Locus asks.

“The one I much prefer because he’s more likely to listen to me than the other.”

Locus takes his glove off and puts his hand on Wash’s cheek, feeling Wash lean into the hand. The one that listens? Not sure what that really means, but he’s down for it because he wants Wash to come back to his room with him.

“Not only the one that listens, but the more human one, so to speak.”

“The-”

“Let me explain in your room.” Wash takes Locus’ hand and they head back to Locus’ room. 

When they get to his room, Wash locks the door behind him. He helps Locus out of his armor, placing it aside. Having him take off the undersuit as well. He then makes him sit on the bed once he changes into sweats. Wash sits across from him. He can tell Locus is uncomfortable without the armor. 

“Tell me Locus, when did you first learn to be a soldier?” 

Locus looks at his hands. “Great War.”

“It changed you afterwards, didn’t it?” 

Locus nods. Yeah it did. He wasn’t who he used to be. Seemed broken. 

“Someone didn’t help you along the way.” Wash inches closer to Locus. “Someone set you on this path because they saw what you can do.” 

How does he figure this? How could he have even guessed? Is he still broken? Something’s not right. It’s not right. What’s wrong? He can’t figure out what’s wrong. He needs… He needs Felix. He makes it better. Makes it easier to get through all this. 

Felix… 

Locus looks at Wash after thinking that through. Is it Felix doing it to him? But he says they need each other. They need each other… 

“You figure out who?” Locus nods. “I can tell the difference of when you’ve been around that person and when you haven’t.”

Wash lets Locus think this through. They sit in silence for what seems like hours, but really is only some odd minutes long. He thinks about everything Felix has said to him. Every moment when he made sure to tell Locus he was being a good soldier. How they were following the orders they were given like good soldiers. The way he never questioned why they were doing something made him this good soldier. Just everything. He can’t believe it. Felix would never do that to him… 

“It’ll be okay. Just stay with me.”

“I’d like that,” Locus leans forward and kisses Wash. Wash is the one to pull away. 

“Do you trust me?” 

“Yes.” But why does he? What is it about Wash that makes him trust him? He just doesn’t understand. He wants to leave. Wants to hide. Get away from Wash. Hear some truth from Felix. No, Felix doesn’t tell the truth. Does he? He’s so confused. What’s wrong with him?

“Hey, come back to me.” Wash can see Locus is thinking so much. “When I… When what happened to me, happened, I was locked away from the outside world. I was being told lies and terrible things by the Councilor of Project Freelancer. I did some bad things because I was just following orders. That’s what they made me.”

“How’d you-?”

“Met the Reds and Blues. They adopted me, so to speak. Taught me how to be human again.”

“Can you show me how to?” Locus can feel his chest tightening. This isn’t right. Something’s wrong. What’s wrong though? He can’t figure that part out.

“Yes, of course I can show you. I promise on my life that I will help you and when this war is over, we will go away together.”

“I’d like that.” 

“Me too,” Wash leans forward and kisses Locus. 

They spend the rest of the night together. This time, without sex because Locus can’t find it in him. He’s lost in thought. Lost in the heartbeat of Wash. Lost in time. Until they fall asleep. Wash has found he sleeps an hour longer when he’s with Locus. Locus has found that he sleeps slightly deeper than he does when he’s alone. It’s nice really. For both of them.

 

After the past four or five days, Locus has calmed down a lot. He feels better about himself. Even remembered what his name was and told Wash. His name is Sam, er, Samuel. But they would always call him Sam. Wash only says it when they’re alone. When no one else can see them. 

Wash has made him look at his face many times, so he could show Locus he’s human. Human. That’s something Locus is struggling with every day and tonight, he has a scouting mission. Aka, meet with Felix. He doesn’t want to. He wants to spend the night with Wash. Like he has been every other night. Wash offered to go scouting with him. Sneak him out, but he can’t do that. Not when it isn’t a real scouting mission. 

Wash leans against the wall, watching as Locus gets ready. He’s tempted to sneak out himself and follow, but will stay at the base to keep Donut and Sarge calm. 

“Sam?” Wash tilts his head slightly. “Come back to me the same?”

“I will do my best.”

Wash walks over to Locus, pulling him close for a kiss before he has to leave. When he pulls away, he puts on his helmet and heads out for the night. A long night ahead of him. He’s not looking forward to it.

 

Locus got to the rendezvous point before Felix. He made sure everything is fine before taking off his helmet and setting it next to him as he sits against a tree. He thinks about Wash and what he’s said. It’s like he knows he might change here. Maybe that’s true. Felix isn’t good for him. He knows that much. At least he hopes he does.

Felix walks up to him, head slightly tilted. “Since when do you take your helmet off?” He sits in front of Locus, confused.  “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“A soldier doesn’t take off his helmet in the middle of a war.” He sounds like he’s trying to take care of him. Like Locus can’t do this on his own. “What if someone randomly decided to come here and shot you? Then what? You’d be dead.”

Locus doesn’t say anything. That word, soldier, echos in his mind. He’d forgotten about it with Wash. Soldier. He watches Felix pick up his helmet. Felix puts it on Locus’ head, making sure it’s secure. 

“Don’t want you dying now.” Felix sounds genuine. He sounds like he really is trying to help. Oh god, he’s so confused again. This isn’t good. No, not at all.

“What’s gotten into you, my partner?” Felix is saying the right words. Partner resonates with Locus. They are partners, but why? Why would partners do this? He wants Wash.

“Hey, I’m here for you. Let’s get you something to eat. Then we can swap what little information we’re sharing,” Felix stands up, holding out his hand. Locus hesitates before taking it and getting up. 

Locus follows Felix in silence. Why is he acting this way? Is he actually serious? He can’t be. Locus just wants to leave. Wants to finish this as soon as possible. Go so he can be alone, but being alone with his thoughts are the worst. His thoughts are confused at best. Betraying at the worst of times.

They get to some shelter after a bit. Felix takes off his helmet to eat some MREs he brought. Not the best, but it’s something to eat. He hands some to Locus. He slowly takes off his helmet to eat. Felix is watching him. He can feel it without even looking to see if it’s true. 

Felix rambles on about how the reds and blues on his side are training some soldiers to go with them to rescue the rest of their group. How they’ll have to make a move soon to kill them. This is the perfect opportunity for them to. Kill everyone. Including Wash. Including… Locus turns his back to Felix, knowing damn well he shouldn’t in case he tries something.

“I’ll enjoy killing Tucker. I think you’ll enjoy killing all of them. Including Agent Washington.”

“I can’t.” It slips out before Locus can keep it inside of him.

“Can’t what? Can’t kill him? You’re a soldier. It’s our orders to do so. Let them live long enough to give hope then kill them.” 

“Yes, but-”

“But what? Do I have to tell Control you can’t do this? That you’re no longer the soldier that takes orders? What about our partnership? You’re going to turn your back on me? You’re a soldier. Nothing else. There is no going back.” Felix walks up to him, making Locus turn to look at him. “We’re partners in this. We’re both soldiers.”

Soldiers.

Partners.

Orders.

 

Locus gets back to base and immediately goes to tell Doyle everything that he’s supposed to. That the others are on the move. Trying to get more supplies. All those things they’re actually doing. When he finishes this, he heads to his room. Completely avoiding anyone and everyone. Even Wash. He has to prepare himself for the death of Agent Washington.

Locus sits on his bed, staring at the floor when his door opens. It’s Wash of course. Wash knows he’s welcomed anytime, so he doesn’t have to knock. He locks the door behind him, then walks over to Locus. 

“How are you feeling?” Wash asks. Locus doesn’t look up or answer. “Hey, Sam?” Wash slowly takes off Locus’ helmet. He is met with no hesitation. “Sam?” 

“My name,” Locus looks up at him, “is Locus.”

“Fuck,” Wash sets the helmet down on the floor. “No. That’s the monster talking. Your name is Sam. Your human self is Sam.”

“My name is Locus.” Locus glares at Wash, wanting him to go away.

“This is the monster speaking. This isn’t you. Please, Sam. Listen to me.”

“My name,” Locus stands up, making Wash take a step back, “is Locus. I am a soldier.”

“No, you’re not. You’re a monster when you’re like this. Do you understand that? You are no soldier when you go by the name of Locus. You are only monster and someone is making you this way.”

“You’re wrong,” Locus backhands Wash. It catches him off guard, falling to the ground. His own hand goes to his cheek. This is the first time since the canyon that he’s been hurt by Locus. Locus squats down, grabbing his helmet. “I am a soldier.”

Wash watches Locus stand up and grab his helmet. He puts it on before leaving the room. Even though Wash calls for him to stop and listen. He won’t listen.

 

Wash has been able to say a few things to Locus over the passing days, but he can’t seem to get close to him. Today is the day they’re breaking out anyways. To find the others. Rescue them and leave this place. He can’t seem to tell the others to wait. They won’t wait anyways. They want to get back their team. But Wash promised Locus that he would stay with him and leave with him.

Funny thing is, their team came to rescue them. That’s when they come to this area to find Locus. To find him with his gun, pointed at them. Surrounded by other pirates. Right before the shot goes off, Felix jumps in front. A savior. It’s when Tucker throws Felix the grenade and Felix doesn’t do anything with it. That’s when it clicks in Wash’s mind. Felix is the one abusing Locus. It’s him. He has to do something and quick. 

“Locus. Listen to me. He is the one that turned you into this monster,” Wash points to Locus. 

“Wash, what are you doing?” Tucker tries to step forward, but Wash puts his hand up.

“Stay back. All of you.” Wash turns back to Locus. “Do you remember my promise?” He can visibly see Locus slowly lower his weapon. “Let me help you.”

“Excuse you?” Felix chimes in. “Locus is my  _ partner.  _ He is a  _ soldier.  _ You are the monster here, Agent Washington.”

“You are nothing but a monster. You’ve been abusing him since after the Great War.” Everything is falling into place. “He trusted you to help him when he wasn’t doing well and you did this. You’re the monster.”

Felix doesn’t respond with words. He responds with a fight. Wash does pretty good for a few hits before falling to the ground because he was caught off guard for all this. Tucker tries to help, but Sarge holds him back.

“Sam, please believe me like you have before. Don’t let him control you.”

“Say goodbye.”

Locus jumps down behind Felix and pulls him away from Wash. 

“Do not touch him.”

“Locus, what are you doing? We’re supposed to kill them.” 

“My name is Sam.” Locus pulls up his pistol before Felix could react. 

Wash gets up and sees that at least half the pirates that were with them are gone. “Tucker, kill the others before they all get away.” 

Wash grabs Locus’ arm, making him drop the pistol. He makes him turn to look at him, taking off his own helmet before taking of Sam’s.

“Sam, it’s okay. It’s over now.” Wash half smiles at him.

“Wash?” he tilts his head slightly.

“Yes, I’m here. Like I’ve promised.”

“Is it really over?”

“Yes. You don’t have to worry about him anymore. I’m going to help you recover.”

 

As promised, after the war on Hargrove, Wash and Sam run away. Wash made sure that his team was well set up and that Carolina would stay with them, to help them. Once that has been established, they leave. To where? No one knows. They fly as far as they can for as long as they can without stopping till they find a planet both like to settle on.

It’s nice, where they’re living now. A one bedroom apartment. Most nights they both wake up from nightmares at different times. They take the time to calm the other down. It’s something neither complain about. They knew it would happen. Some mornings, if Sam had Wash up longer than usual at night, then he’ll make breakfast for Wash and bring it to him in bed. Wash will do the same some mornings. 

After some odd years and lots of proper therapy, they both come to the idea that they want to adopt. That in of itself is an adventure both of them love.


End file.
